Last Chance
by Scorpion24
Summary: Harry is being sent into exile as a result from the trial after Albany. Can Ruth just watch him slip from her life once more, or will they both realise that this really could be their last chance?
1. Chapter 1

**I was having a bit of writers block with "In the End" and this story sort of materialised from a draft of another chapter. I really enjoyed writing this one so hope you enjoy reading it too . I have mot of it written so updates shouldn't take too long!**

He couldn't hold off much longer. He had said his goodbyes to Beth, Dimitri and Tariq and he now found himself alone in his office. The familiar four walls seemed to mock him and his dilemma. They had shut him in for so long now that he had been unable to clearly see what was right outside the door, or in her case, usually barging in through it. Now it was too late. They would be coming for him any moment now and then it would be too late. She hadn't been there to see him. Her mind was obviously made up.

"Hi." He spun around to face the familiar voice. She gave him a weak smile, and quickly averted her eyes from his prominent gaze. "Sorry to just barge in."

"Why break a habit of a life time?" His coy response forced her to glance at him and her heart murmured at the sight of his soft and warm eyes. She smiled again.

"I suppose old habits die hard." There was a silence, during which he became unpleasantly aware that this would be the last time he would see her. He watched her, closely pleading with himself to remember everything about her. The way her hair wisped around her face and intensified its beauty. "Harry". They way her lips curled with warmth and suppressed desire as she said his name. "You're leaving." It wasn't a question, but he felt the need to answer it all the same.

"Yes." The way the depth of her blue eyes intensified with tears as memories held and froze between them. "I haven't got a choice" he justified, needlessly.

"Harry, I need to say… I need you to know that I'm sorry. I'm sorry for everything." Her wringing hands caught his and she gripped them tightly. "I'm sorry… I'm sorry you're leaving." The tears that had shone so mesmerisingly in her eyes now fell tragically down her cheeks. He tilted his head slightly, now too transfixed on her eyes to allow his mind to remember much else.

"You are?" Her answer came in the form of a sudden sob and a nod of the head. He hugged her close to him as his own tears fell slowly and landed mingled in her hair. "But you should be happy Ruth. You won't have to endure anymore mule like remarks, for one." The humour in his intention was betrayed entirely by the sorrow in his voice. Gently he bent and kissed the top of her head, as she muttered deep into the crook of his shoulder, "Not the time Harry."

"It never is." She lent her head back from him, but allowed his hands resting on her back to keep her close. "Timing is everything" she remembered with a twinge of guilt and remorse. "Harry." Her eyes widened suddenly with an urgency and importance. "You know that I think you're a pompous prat at times, don't you?" He couldn't help but smile at the insult.

"Thanks" he mocked, wiping a tear from her pale cheek.

"And that your decisions can be rash and sometimes just plain right ridiculous."

"Ruth- there are ways of sugar coating it you know." She didn't return his smile. Instead she reached her arms around his neck and lent closer into him.

"But, I need to you know Harry, I lo…"

"Sir Harry?" The sound of the deep voice at the door made them spring apart in surprise and unarguable rage.

"For God sake! Can't you see your interrupting? Get out!" Harry's anger boiled over into his scarlet cheeks and flaming eyes.

"I'm sorry Sir. It's time."

She was looking at the floor, unable to stop the tears from falling anymore. Slowly he moved towards her and bent his head close to her ears. "I know" he whispered painfully. She closed her eyes as she felt his lips soft against her cheek. And then he was gone.

**This story will move quicker than some of my others I promise. Please review and let me know what you think **


	2. Chapter 2

**Thank you for all your lovely reviews! They really do make writing all the more worthwhile I want to try and finish this one by Sunday… hopefully reality won't intervene too much **

**Chapter 2**

The bus journey was a blur of faces, emotions and memories. Ruth bit down on her lip and dug her fingernails painfully into the palms of her hands, fiercely desperate to stop the tears from falling. Not here. Not yet.

Once she was off the bus, and was in sight of her house, her pace quicken, challenging her beating heart and stinging eyes. As soon as the heavy door closed behind her she collapsed in a sobbing heap at the bottom of the stairs. Pain and heartbreak ripped through her in waves of desperate gasps. He couldn't be gone. Not again! She had lost him once, found him, then wasted her stubborn, selfish and unnecessary time in refusing to let him love her- and now it was too late. She would never see him again! He would never know how she truly felt. As this final realisation settled heavily on her heart she let out a heart rendering cry of despair.

After what seemed like an eternity, her tears ceased to fall. Instead, she was left with an empty void that seemed to weigh her down and pin her to the spot. She merely sat wide-eyed and staring into the abyss of what was now to be her life. Her future. Without him.

A faint scratching noise alerted her painfully back to reality and slowly she made her way to the source of the noise. Her brain seemed numb to processing, but the sight of Fidget perched on the kitchen table did bring a small smile to her edge of her lips. Lifting his warm body close to her, she buried her weary face into his soft and inviting fur. The cat purred softly as if a sign of concern and comfort. Gently stroking his back she sighed "I love him, Fidget. I love him."

"I know." Ruth froze as she felt a gentle hand on her shoulder.

Beth smiled sorrowfully at her housemate. "I know you love him Ruth and we're going to do something about it." Ruth stared blankly at her, the shock of her presence and her words taking its time to settle. Too tired of arguing and seeming it pointless to deny, she conceded "It's too late, Beth. He's gone."

"Not yet he's not. You've still got time." She took her colleague by the hand and pulled her towards the hallway, the sudden movement dislodging Fidget as she went. The cat look on bemused as his owner had her coat thrust on her and the heavy door shut behind her.

The car journey was silent, no need for words. Ruth knew that while Beth understood she did not need any explanation and she was grateful for this, partly because she wasn't sure how to justify it to herself, never mind anyone else. Anyway, she needed him to be the first to hear it.

Only when they turned into a familiar street did Ruth speak, her stomach knotting uncontrollably at the sight of two ill-concealed surveillance men perched in a white van. "I can't do this Beth. Not now!"

"Then when?" Beth rolled her eyes with sarcasm.

"What will I say?"

Beth killed the ignition as they rounded the corner and out of sight of the white van. Turning to her friend she smiled and squeezed her wringing hand. "You won't need to say anything. You never did." Ruth could not help but smile. It was true. "Right," Beth continued brightly, "give me a minute then make your move. But be quick- I'm not sure how long I can distract them for. I hope your lock picking skills are up to scratch Evershed!" With a weak smile Ruth watched her go.

Once Bath had disappeared around the corner she too got out of the car. Her legs seemed to move of their own accord in complete contradiction to what her ever-logical brain was screaming for her to do. Reaching the corner she could see Beth approach the two men in the van. With a radiating smile she bent her head close to the window. This was Ruth's chance. Her only chance. Her legs, again were one step ahead of her and she was surprised to find that she arrived at his door so easily. She heard a flirtatious giggle from Beth and knew it was now or never. With nimble fingers she reached for the door, prepared to begin picking the lock, but was surprised to find it unlocked. Without time to think, she turned the handle and slipped quickly inside the door.

**Okay… so I'm sure they'd have less easily distracted surveillance men… but poetic license kicked in Hope you enjoyed it! Please review!**


	3. Chapter 3

**Okay… so work was quiet today so look I was able to update a little quicker than expected. Hope you like this…**

**Chapter 3**

Her eyes found him immediately. The sight of him in a crumpled heap at the bottom of the stairs sobbing quietly wrenched at her unbearably. Slowly he raised his tear stained face and she smiled as she saw the light in his eyes flicker at the sight of her. He slowly got to his feet, never once taking his eyes away from her. Ruth swallowed down the swell of emotion that had suddenly grasped at her chest. Something about knowing this was their last chance gave her the confidence she needed. Steadily she walked towards him and did not stop until she could feel his heart beat against her small frame. Gently she raised her hand and stroked his face affectionately. "Hi" she smiled up at him. She felt his arms tenderly snake her back, pulling her ever closer to him. He gazed into her blue eyes, still unable to convince himself that she was actually there.

"Ruth…" It was the only word he could manage. He had so many things he wanted to tell her, but suddenly they all seemed utterly irrelevant. Apart from one.

"I love you." And with that he kissed her smiling lips with a kiss that told her all she needed to know. Ruth's hands wound easily beneath his jacket and she clung tightly to him. She could feel the cool wall against her back as he pressed hard against her, teasing her mouth open with his tongue. Never before had she wanted something so badly. She was greedy for his touch. Wanton for his taste. Shamelessly desperate for him.

"Oh, Harry!" she moaned as his wandering hands travelled freely under the thin material of her shirt.

"Yes?" he smiled breathlessly at her as she clumsily pulled at the waistband of his shirt.

"I love you, Harry! Oh God! How I love you Harry Pearce!" She kissed him again as if trying to reinforce this fact even further. As she ran her fingers slowly along the ridges of his back, he suddenly tilted his hips and pulled her down so that they now found themselves half lying, half sitting on the stairs. Drawing away from each other they both gasped for air. Propping himself on his elbow he gazed adoringly at her flushed, but smiling face. He did not look from her face as he traced the buttons of her suddenly restricting shirt with a tender finger. Closing her eyes, Ruth gasped as her body shuddered at his touch. Opening her eyes, Harry was alarmed to see that they were filled with fresh tears. His love for her met his desire and lust in that moment. Removing his hand he instead traced a finger along her soft cheekbone.

"Are you okay?" he whispered with such genuine concern that Ruth could not help but move her head and kiss his hand with tender gratitude.

"It's just taken us so long to get here, Harry. And now… well… now…" Slowly he hooked his finger under her chin and raised her head so that she looked directly at him. In his eyes she saw the anguish of the last nine years. "Promise me something, Ruth."

"Anything" she breathed.

"Promise me that you won't ask me not to go."

"Harry…I…"

"Promise me, Ruth!" His voice was cracked with desperation and despair. She knew it was pointless arguing, yet she was not sure she could promise him that. She could not give her consent for him to walk out of her life again. She could not allow him to leave her, not when she had only just found him.

Seeing the pain and anguish in her face he bent his head, and with the most convincing smile he could muster he muttered, "It's ok Ruth. I understand if it's all too hard- believe me, I understand. Maybe we should just…"

Her soft lips against his halted his justification. "We've been here before Harry" she whispered. He could not help but raise an eyebrow at the sight of her half open shirt where his hand still rested precariously. "Okay," she conceded bashfully, "well not here, exactly, but we've left it here before- with things undone. Things unsaid." She cupped his face in her soft palm. "I won't make that mistake again."

As the bitter memory of their last farewell gripped his heart tightly he pulled her close into him. "You promise?" he breathed.

"I promise" she sighed, before kissing him fiercely. She pulled his sturdy body down on top of her, never wanting to let him go.

**Please review and let me know what you think... more to come really soon **


	4. Chapter 4

**Thank you for all of your lovely reviews! Hope you like this next chapter …**

**Chapter 4**

A little while later they found themselves upstairs. Pinned to the bed, Ruth sighed as Harry delicately removed the remainder of her clothing, piece by piece. He was desperate to savour every part of her. She was desperate to remember every moment he touched her. Her hands traced his broad back as his lips explored, first her mouth, then her neck. As he continued his tantalising journey across her body, she raised her hips in sudden satisfaction and pushed herself astride him. Passion burnt in her eyes. She had waited a long time for this and she wasn't going to wait a moment longer.

Afterwards they lay motionless in the darkness. Ruth rested her head in the crook of his shoulder. The moonlight streamed through the curtain and she felt a cruel happiness wash over her. Leaning forward, she lightly brushed his chest with her gentle lips. "I love you Harry" she breathed.

"I know" he smiled.

"When?" Her head suddenly jolted to look at him, her familiar inquisitive eyes searching his. His smile spread at her need to analyse everything. "When did you know?" she repeated, now propping herself up on his chest and gazing lovingly at him. Harry shifted himself against the pillow, causing her to fall easily into his inviting arms. Pulling her close he laid a soft kiss on her cheek and whispered "I think I've always known, deep down." He knew this would not satisfy her analytical outlook and so he continued, "But, when I had all that trouble with Catherine. When I thought she might be involved in the November Group, I think that's when I truly realised."

"You did?" Her shock and confusion showed plainly across her face and she lifted her head to look at him.

"Yes" he grinned as he remembered. "You said, in the meeting room, that there was something else and then I said…"

"You said 'There's always something else. That's your bloody middle name!'" She too smiled at the memory.

"That's when I realised that there would always be something else for us Ruth."

Her smile faded suddenly. "You promise? Always?" Her imploring eyes forced the only answer he could bare to give her.

"I promise, Ruth. Always." Letting his hollow words of emotion hang between them, she was glad when Harry broke the silence that wrenched at her insides. "What about you? When did you know?" he probed gently as her delicately traced a rouge strand of her hair.

Burying her head deep into his warm neck she nibbled playfully. "Hmmmm…Let me see. Maybe it was the time you called me an old mule? Or maybe when you suggested I should have a cowbell fitted? Or maybe…"

Suddenly, Ruth found herself rolled easily into the flat of her back. His hands grasped at her wrists and pinned her under his sturdy body. Bending low against her, he warned "I'm serious Ruth." She met his gaze. She recognised both his passion and his fear.

"I think" she began slowly "I think it was the day you sent for a warrant for Tom's arrest." He drew back from her in surprise. Of all their choice moments over the years he wasn't sure he's class that as one of his finest. "You took me to our bench, Harry, on the Thames." He smiled as he noticed her personal recollection of the bench. "You said you needed my support and I knew, then and there, that whatever you asked of me- not matter how ridiculous or rash the request- I would do it. Without hesitation, I would do anything for you." Their mind's simultaneously locked on the last thing he had asked her to do. She had made her promise and she knew she could not break it. Not even for him. "I'm glad we have tonight" she answered his querying eyes. With that he bent low and kissed her firmly on the lips. He pressed his body hard against hers and she wrapped her legs around tightly around his waist. Ruth sighed, a hollow laugh escaping her.

"Hmmm?" Harry enquired between kisses.

"I was just thinking how wrong I was. I would say we could definitely be more together than we were that night on the rooftop!" He smiled and pulled her ever closer.

Stirring slightly, she half opened her eyes. She smiled at the feel of his arm pulling her close into his side. She sighed at the sound of his heartbeat close to her ears. Moving her head she gazed blearily up at him. It wasn't until then that she noticed he was fully clothed, and it wasn't until she saw his face that she remembered. Anger raced through her. "How could you let me sleep?" she suddenly sat up, grasping for her watch. Panic tore at her chest. Wide eyed she looked back at him and was incredulous to see a smile curling on his lips. "Harry! It's… it's…" Unable to form the words she merely thrust the watch in his direct.

"I know." He said, gently, catching her hand in his. She opened her mouth to protest, but he cut her off. "I know." There was a finality in his tone that saw her anger subside instantly and tears to rises uncontrollably in her throat.

"I can't Harry…You can't… not now…" Her voice shook with despair and heart break.

"Ruth" his own voice cracked with matching emotions. She flung her arms around him and kissed him passionately, pulling him close to her, her fingers clutching desperately to his back. When she finally, and reluctantly, let him go, both of their faces streamed with tears. "Let's leave it with something we should have said a long time ago." He smiled through his tears. "I love you Ruth. I always have and I always will." She gasped as a heart wrenching sob escaped her quivering lips.

"I…I love you Harry…I…I love you" she stammered.

Unable to face her emotional turmoil a moment longer he bent low and kissed her lips for one final time. "Bye" he breathed, and with that she watched him leave the room. Leave her. Forever.

A fire inside her suddenly ignited and bust through her desperation. She wouldn't let him go, not this time. Gabbing her robe she flew out of bed and had reached the top of the stairs by the time he reached for the door. "Harry!" The sound of her voice halted him to the spot. Running forwards she reached the bottom step in no time. "Harry." Only now did he turn his tear stained face to look at her.

"Please."

"Ruth, you promised."

"I know, but… but… so what? Harry, so what? Please, don't leave me!"

"Ruth." She felt like a petulant child, as her voice became shrill with pointless plees.

"But it's so unfair. I love you Harry! Isn't that enough? Please don't… I can't…" He took a step towards her, taking a deep breath as he did so.

"Be brave, Ruth" he whispered. "I need you to be brave." Panic was grasping at every inch of her chest. She shook her head wildly.

"I can't Harry… I can't."

"You can, Ruth." He shook her gently. She looked at him. Their gaze held. "Close your eyes" he breathed. She didn't falter in anyway. "Close your eyes" he repeated. She did. She felt his lips firm against hers, but she did not trust herself to reach for him. Then, she felt him press something into her hand. Still she could not allow herself to move. It wasn't until she heard the door close behind him that she dared to open her eyes. There, gleaming in the palm of her hand was the most elegant, simple and tragically beautiful band of gold. Slipping the ring slowly onto her finger she collapsed to the floor and cried.

He was gone.

**Sorry for the depressingness! I actually shed a small tear as I was writing I'm not sure if I can face a depressing ending though or whether to carry the story on for a few more chapters and see where it goes? Please review and let me know what you think! **


	5. Chapter 5

**Thank you all so much for your great reviews! Like you, I didn't really want to leave this with such a depressing end, so the story has kind of taken a new direction and will hopefully find a happier ending Hope you enjoy the next chapter…**

Harry stood motionless on the doorstep. That was it. It was all over. He knew that as soon as the men in the van spotted him leaving the house he would not be able to change his mind. As much as his love for her willed him to turn on the very spot and hide away with her forever, his desire to protect her was stronger than anything. He would not put her in danger. Not again.

Pulling the collar of his coat up high, so to protect himself from the battering winds, Harry moved swiftly along down to steps and along the road. He blinked away fresh tears as he imagined her stood helpless only a few feet away, and, as usual he was not only ignorant to prevent her agony, but the common cause of it.

His thoughts moved on to consider the last time he had taken this very same journey. He foolishly hoped that this time too there would be a way to see her again, a way to get a message between them, like that favourable memory of the bus ride. He clenched his fist tightly as her felt the tingle of her fingers gently against his as she had passed him the evidence. His lips curled slightly at the bitter memory of her referral to him as "some weirdo". His head was dizzy with the memory of her scent, as he had lent close toward her.

However, entering the familiar corner shop, he berated himself for his own foolish wonderings. His previous dismissal and operations alongside her all seemed so long ago, as if part of some bewildering game. This was their reality now, and the reality was that they had had their last chance and now it was over.

As panic subsided in her heavy chest, pure distress and mourning took over. Through tear-hazed vision Ruth gazed around the empty room. It was only then that she truly realised where she was. All of his things lay around her. She recognised the faint smell of him lingering in the air. It was as if she could see him everywhere, but he could not reach her. Not now. He was gone.

Tenderly she reached out her shaking fingers and caressed his jacket that hung haplessly on the bottom of the banister. It reminded her of when she had been forced to leave all of her belongs behind when she had left for Cyprus. All the things that had once seemed so meaningful to her had, over night, become non-important. She remembered the things she had missed the most though with s heavy heart. She had missed her books that she had spent so long collecting. She missed her photograph of her and Peter and their respective parents on the beach in Blackpool, reminding her of the girl she once was. She had longed for the feel of the cashmere scarf that Harry had bought her for her birthday that still held the faint scent of him, as every time she wrapped it around her it was as if he was with her. But, she had soon learnt to live without these trivial desires. She had learnt to live without anything she had been forced to leave behind- except him. She wasn't sure she would ever learn to do that.

A shrill ringing from upstairs brought her crashing back from her contemplations. As her call of duty overrode her emotional needs for not the first time in her life, she forced herself upstairs in search of the ringing phone. She found the contents of her bag flung aimlessly around the room, remembering with a sorrowful smile that she had tripped clumsily over the handle in her haste the previous evening. Sitting heavily on the bed she pressed to answer the call.

"Hello?" Her voice was maimed by the sharp intakes of breath she was still forced to take as a result of her tears. While her dwelling had been ruthlessly cut short, the empty void that spread throughout her forbade her from truly apprehending what had just happened.

"Ruth. It's me."

Silence. Her eyes fell on the pillow where last night he had lay and kissed her so fondly.

"Are you… are you ok?"

She let out a muffled sob and lay back on the bed, pulling the pillow close into her aching body. "I'm…I'm… ill. I'm… not… I can't co…come…"

She buried her face deep into the duvet in an attempt to hide her crying from Beth. "Ok. Take care Ruth. And remember, if you need anything… well… Bye."

Beth replaced the receiver and slammed her hand soundly against the desk. Dimitri eyed his colleague sceptically. "Everything alright?"

"No!" she shot at him fire burning in her eyes. "No, it's bloody not."

Just then, Erin strode confidently from the office- the office which, Beth couldn't help but notice, she had taken no time whatsoever in usurping. Ignoring them completely she made her way across the grid towards the pods. "Going somewhere nice?" Dimitri asked with a soft smirk.

"Home secretary." She did not stop or look at him. "Not that it's any of your damn business."

"So, I'll ask you one last time, Beth. Did you know?" Beth mirrored an equally as fierce gaze as her new boss. "And I'll tell you, on last flaming time Erin, I haven't got a clue what your talking about!"

Dimitri looked up at the sparring women with unease. Feeling it best to move the briefing onwards, he offered, "So, it's true? He's actually managed to lose them?" Erin's furious glare answered his question, leaving no doubt, yet she obviously felt the need to reinforce this to her colleague.

"Yes Dimitri" she spat. "Yes it's bloody true. And if that's not enough, it seems he was not acting alone and I intend…" But Erin's incredulous retort was cut short as they were interrupted by the soft slide of the door.

"Sorry I'm late." Ruth hung her head low, hoping to conceal her red eyes and drawn face from inspection for a little while longer. All three of them merely watched her as she took her seat, in the usual spot, next to his glaringly empty chair. Despite herself, she could not help but glance across at it.

"Ruth… I… I didn't expect to see you today. Feeling better?"

Ruth nodded meekly in response, convincing no one.

Beth opened her mouth to try again, but the words died on her lips. Erin on the other hand, sighed audible at the inconvenience of their interruption and proceeded regardless. "Right, now Ruth has finally been so good as to grace us with her presence, I guess we should continue. I need to know who else, apart from Harry, knew about this?"

Ruth looked at her questioningly, the mention of his name stabbing painfully at her insides. Noticing her concern, Dimitri lent close to her and squeezed her arm gently.

"He's gone Ruth. He was meant to report to the Home Secretary this morning and he didn't show. Apparently, the men who were watching him lost him. Something about a corner shop and…" He trailed off as he realised she was no longer listening to him. Her eyes grew steadily darker against her pale face. Her fidgeting hands stilled in shock. It was only now that he noticed the small gleam of gold on her finger. Unable to conceal his alarm and confusion his eyes darted between the ring and Ruth's ashen features.

"But… when did you… how?" he stammered, dumbfound. He shot an expectant glance a Beth, to see if she too had noticed the leading development. However, he was incredulous to find her smiling compassionately at Ruth, tears glazing in her eyes.

"Does somebody want to tell me what the hell is going on here?"

**I'm half way through the next part so I will hopefully get it up before tomorrow night! If not, hope you all enjoy S10 E1! Please review and let me know what you think.**


	6. Chapter 6

**The character of Erin is a bit harsh in this chapter, compared to Lara Pulver's superb portrayal of her, but I had already written the chapter so please try to go with it. I had intended to bring out another side of her anyway so hopeful she will become a little more believable as the story goes on Thanks again for all of your lovely reviews, and as always, I hope you enjoy…**

**Chapter 6**

"I said…" Erin began with in a hoity tone.

"Ruth?" Dimitri was ignorant to his boss's ranting. "Have you seen him? Was it you?" Rapidly blinking away tears, Ruth slowly turned to face him.

"I…" Emotions lodged agonisingly in her throat and made forming words impossible. Instead she looked to Beth imploringly. Beth smiled kindly before turning to Erin.

"I think what Ruth is trying to say is don't we have better things to be doing with our time rather than fretting over something that quite frankly doesn't concern us anymore?" Dimitri and Erin stared at her in mutual alarm and disbelief. Erin lent across the table so that her head rested very close to Beth's ear.

"You think this doesn't concern us, do you? Do you want to know what the Home Secretary and half of the bloody state think? They think that one of us in this room helped him to escape. They think that if they find out which one of us it is then they will be able to find him. They think that this, therefore, means they have the right to slap as much surveillance their money can buy on all of us on the Grid until they find the culprit. So, Beth, in answer to your question, I would say that no- we don't have anything better to be doing!" With that she stormed from the meeting room and slammed the door closed behind her.

Beth muttered something tightly under her breath before letting out an audible sigh and looking to Ruth. "Did you tell him?" she asked softly, shaking of her urge to follow Erin and tell her exactly what she thought of her and her leadership qualities.

"Tell him what?" Dimitri was now completely confused. Ruth, on the other hand, could do nothing but nod her head in response. Ignoring Dimitri's bemused look, Beth continued softly.

"And was it too late?" Ruth closed her eyes as if searching for the right answer to this seemingly impossible question. However, as she did she could feel his arching body pressed against her as he had held her close to him, only hours before. She could not help but relive the heat between them as they had desperately explored each others willing bodies. The memory of his scorching lips brushing her neck engulfed her entirely. "Ruth?" With an uncontrollable sob she shook her head helplessly.

"I don't know! Oh God, Beth! I hope not!"

Finally beginning to piece together what was happening, Dimitri's eyes widened in realisation. He looked between his two colleagues and his heart undisputedly crumbled at the tragedy of the situation. "Ruth." He spoke very quietly in an attempt to keep his voice as calm and controlled as possible. "Ruth. Was it you? Did you help him?"

A week passed with no news of him or his whereabouts. Ruth, having chewed her way through the Grid's supplies of pen lids, had lost her appetite for anything but him. She spent her days ghosting the part of a senior analyst, yet all she could think about was where he was. How could he just run? Why hadn't he told her? She had to admit, that was the question that hurt the most.

Nevertheless, as painful as the thought of him had become, the idea of overlooking him proved even more agonising. While she knew the others were loyal to him, she could not help but notice that they all seemed to be milling along in a usual fashion. She would often find herself wanting to scream above the low buzz of the Grid just to see if anyone still remembered the man he was, not just the problem he had seemed to become. She wondered whether this is how he had felt when she had left for Cyprus all of those years ago. She was half relieved that their was no one left to confirm her fear that the Grid had, in fact, just continued as normal after her departure, just as it seemed to be doing now.

Having now taken up residence in the Grid's on duty room for most nights since he had left, Ruth awoke early one morning to the sound of quiet voices outside the door.

"I'm really worried about her Dimitri. She didn't come home again last night! I don't know, maybe she's scared he'll come back here and she'll missed him or something, but it's not healthy! " A muffled grunt told Ruth that Dimitri agreed with Beth. Moving quietly to the door, she pressed her ear close against it. Her irritation at their audacity was met with the sad realisation that she had not even contemplated his return. The reason she stayed there was simply because she could not face the reality that her own home brought with it. At least here she could work. She could allow herself to analyse their relationship, analyse him. At home she would have to face his departure in a daunting and lonely new light.

"Do you think she did it? Helped him, I mean?"

"Well, did you?" Ruth could imagine the look on Dimitri's face as he undoubtedly shook his head. "And I didn't. Don't get me wrong, I would have done, but the truth is, I didn't. And something tells me 'Miss-all-heart' in his office didn't lift a sodding finger. So by process of elimination that only leaves…"

"Me." They turned, shock and embarrassment clouding their faces in an instant.

"Ruth…I…We didn't…"

"Know I was here? Mean to accuse me of being a traitor? Believe me when I told you it wasn't me, that I didn't help him?" Dimitri looked to the floor ashamed and sorry that he had offended her so greatly. Beth on the other hand met her defiance with matching force.

"No Ruth. I didn't believe you! You were, you are, in love with the man, for God's Sake! No one would blame you for helping him! What I don't understand is why you don't admit it! Why are you being so stubborn? Shutting us out? Let us help you Ruth, please!" Ruth stared at her, incredulous. Unable to respond for fear of what she might say, Ruth pushed past her colleague and, without a second thought for her dishevelled appearance, returned to burying herself in mounting paper work from the previous day.

However, she had merely opened the first file before a shadow loomed over her shoulder. "Ruth?" Spinning on her chair she shot Dimitri a stern look.

"What?"

"I'm sorry… about… for what I said."

"Fine." She made to turn back to her mountain of files, but found her movement halted by the soft touch of his hand on her shoulder. Her eyes softened as she noticed his clear look of concern in her wide eyes. "It's fine, Dimitri. Honestly."

"And what about you, huh? Are you fine?" He squatted beside her, and his voice dropped low. She looked to her hands, determined to not get drawn into this. Not here.

"Yes. I'm just over worked, under paid, you know how it is. And I could really do with a strong cup of tea, as your offering." She smiled kindly at him.

"Ruth…"

"Tea, Dimitri. Please" Noting the pleading edge in her voice, he smiled and gently squeezed her shoulder, before turning on his heel and heading off across the Grid.

Returning to the open file she once again sensed somebody behind her. "For goodness sake! You defused a bomb the other month, I didn't think a kettle would be too hard a challenge, even for you!"

"I'll have you know, Ruth. I'm perfectly acquainted with the use of simple kitchen appliances." Ruth spun round in horror.

"Oh, Erin. I'm sorry I thought you were Dimitri. I was just, well he was just…"

"A word Ruth." She began to walk across the Grid towards the office. Ruth remained rooted to her chair. In the week since he had gone she had managed to avoid setting foot in the office. She opened her mouth to protest but was cut short by Erin, who barked, "Today would be nice!"

Reaching the door, she stopped dead. She remembered all the times she had railroaded on in to his office, without even thinking to knock or pausing to consider the consequences. She knew she was being irrational. Stepping forward one more step wasn't going to change anything, yet, somehow, it felt like it would change everything. To enter the office that was no longer his was like the first step in really admitting he was gone.

Erin eyed her tiresomely in the doorway. "Are you coming in, or are you just going to stand there wasting my time?" Looking genuinely undecided, Ruth gingerly stepped into the office. She wasn't sure what she had been expecting, but the fact that the ground did not give way beneath her was surely a good sign. "Please, take a seat." Ruth did not move. Instead she stood and drank in her surroundings. She heard him playfully reprimanding her for not knocking and just barging in. She tasted the bitter words she had scorned him with the night after Albany on her dry lips. She remembered how he had held her close to him as she cried, only a week ago. Coming into the office, she realised, was not just a first admission, but a sign that it was over. It showed her that while the room held a bank of memories, while they had shared many memories, that that was all they were and all they ever would be. Memories.

"I have something to ask you Ruth and I suggest you sit down to hear it." Erin tried, again indicating to the chair on the other side of the desk.

"Right" muttered Ruth moving slowly to the awaiting chair, after automatically closing the door behind her. Force of habit, she thought bitterly to herself. Erin waited until Ruth was sat in the chair before she spoke again.

"I need to ask you Ruth, are you happy?" The question took her by such surprise that she assumed she must have misheard.

"I beg your pardon?"

"I said, are you happy?" Ruth's eyes were wide and fixed on Erin's. As she her initial shock subsided she noticed the softness in her eyes. There was something in Erin's gaze that seemed familiar. Something about it's determination that Ruth recognised. She also knew it meant it was pointless trying to lie to her.

"I am good at my job, Erin." She began slowly. "I enjoy analysing cases and like the satisfaction of knowing I have helped make peoples lives better."

"You should have been a politician Ruth." Ruth started. There was something in her quip that confused her. Something that was almost too unnerving to be a coincident. However, the glint in Erin's eye was gone as quickly as it had appeared. Instead her eyes clouded with such genuine compassion, that Ruth began to see the woman underneath the officer. "I need to know Ruth, are you happy?" Ruth took a deep breath and averted her gaze to her twisting hands.

"No. No I'm not"

"Good."

"Good?" Ruth's head shot up to look at her. She knew she was cold and direct, but she hadn't realised Erin was completely heartless.

"Yes. I'm glad, because that means I can give you this."

**Hope you enjoyed it… and hope you all enjoyed the new episode too!**

**Please leave me a review and let me know what you think… they really do make my day **


	7. Chapter 7

**Okay! I am very sorry about the major delay with updating here! I wasn't really sure where to go with this story and also really life meant work has been hectic! However, I think I have finally decided on the rest of the plot and I am happy to be back writing again **** Here's a short chapter to keep you going until a hopefully quicker update! Hope you enjoy…**

Ruth was now completely confused. She was not used to being unable to understand and interrupt direct information, yet her brain seemed unwilling to function. "Give me what?" she finally stammered.

"This." Erin slide a small folded piece of paper across the desk and all at once everything that had clouded her ability to understand suddenly seemed to crash into place. Ruth reached out a shaking finger and traced the slanted lettering that broke to crisp fold of the letter. Dumbfound she looked to Erin. "You?" she realised. "It was you who helped him?"

Slowly Erin nodded her head. "Yes Ruth. It was me. I'm sorry"

"Why?"

Erin sighed and her lips curled pitifully into a wan smile. "Harry Pearce is a good man and he doesn't deserve to be thrown to the dogs."

"How?"

Erin's eyes clouded with memories as she recalled the previous few weeks.

"I went to see Harry before the tribunal. It had been hinted that if the worst were to happen I would be appointed his replacement and while grateful for such promotion, I could not help but want to help the man. I have followed his career with such admiration for so long now and I could not see him thrown out into the cold because of this ridiculous tribunal! However, he seemed to think there was no point. He said 'it was his turn' to be chewed up and spat out." Ruth blanched slightly at the recognition of her own stupidity. Noticing her shift of discomfort, Erin raised her eyebrow. Ruth nodded her head, determined to hear what was coming. "Then, that morning, last week, he called to say something had changed and that he couldn't let them anymore and did my offer still stand? He walked to his regular pick up point and I … well… picked him up."

Ruth blinked away the tears that had formed in her eyes. There were so many questions she needed to ask. Where was he? Was he alright? Was the letter his last goodbye? However, the swell of emotion rising steadily in her stomach only permitted two words from her quivering lips, before she began sobbing uncontrollable. "Thank you."

Erin watched on as the woman in front of her shook and sobbed with a fresh wave of feelings and emotions and understood, in that instant, what had changed for Harry Pearce. She could see the relief wash over her tense shoulders. She could sense the memories that that slanted handwriting had brought to the forefront of her mind. And she knew that now was the time. "He said I had to wait for the right time." Erin offered, once Ruth's crying has subsided somewhat.

"Timing is everything" Ruth retorted, absentmindedly.

"He thought you'd say that" Erin smirked. "He was adamant that I give you time to grieve. He said it was a promise that was long overdue." Ruth's heart collapsed entirely and she dropped her eyes to the familiar handwriting on the desk in front of her. She felt like an expectant child at Christmas who was scared to look inside the box in case that was the best part of the present. She was scared of what the letter would say. She couldn't hear another goodbye. She did not want to see the 'might-have-beens' of their relationship there in black and white. She did not want to hear that he was coping fine without her. As selfish as it seemed, she hoped he too was unable to sleep or eat. That he too spent every hour of everyday thinking of her- wondering what she was doing at that very moment, wishing that he was back safe in her arms.

Seeing the dilemma play plainly across her drawn features, Erin lent forward and gently urged "Just open it and find out."

She did.

_Dear Ruth,_

_My dear Ruth. I am writing this as I am watching you sleep. You look so peaceful. So beautiful. So perfect. At this moment, I am not sure I will ever be able to tear myself away from your side- yet we both know I must. We both know I will._

_I won't put you in danger Ruth. Not to save me. Not again. I hope you know I love you too much to ever see you in harms way and however painful that may be, at least I will know you are safe._

_I am left in little doubt that when you read this you will try and find me and I must, once more, ask the impossible of you. Please don't. Please just leave it as something that was never done. We both know this is for the best._

_You made a promise to me that you would not ask me to stay here, with you, but now, as I feel your delicate heart beat against my own, I fear it will be more painful if you simply let me go. Why have things never been simple with us? Why have we always found it so impossible to love each other?_

_I do love you though Ruth and I believe, as foolish as it may be, that you love me too. I need you to know that I will always love you, I always have and I always will. You will be with me always and I give you my heart to cherish as your own for evermore._

_I lost you once already Ruth, but I fear this time it will be the last. I know I can't go through it again and I would not wish that heartache for you either. As a beautiful, intelligent and gentle woman once said, I think it's time to let me go._

_All my love,_

_Your Harry xx_

Ruth read the letter over and over again as tears spilled from her eyes and dropped little droplets on to the crisp paper. She stared at the words on the page as if willing them to become clear inside her head., as if willing their message to finally get through to her thoughts. However, each word just seemed to puncture her heart violently on every read and it was all she could do to remain seated upright.

She had completely forgotten that Erin was still present, until the brunette spoke softly, "You know what it's like, don't you?"

Ruth raised her head in sudden surprise and stared blankly at her.

"You know how it feels to love someone more than anything else. You know that you will always do anything and everything for that someone, regardless of the price."

Ruth felt fresh tears stream from her wide eyes as she nodded her head in heavy agreement.

"I'm sorry for you Ruth. I know the burden it can be to carry."

There was a silence in which Ruth finally raised her sullen eyes to face Erin. Both women did not bother to conceal their raw emotion of their encounter. Erin raised a hand slowly a wiped a tear from her own cheek. "He's right isn't he?" she spoke with a chilling calmness. Ruth did not respond. "You'll find him won't you." It wasn't a question. The determination now burning behind Ruth's tears left no doubt in her bosses mind. Erin took a deep breath. "In that case, I had better tell you where he is."

**Thanks for reading. Not much happening in this chapter but now I know where I'm going with this hopefully update won't be as long. Please R&R and make me smile **


	8. Chapter 8

**This chapter takes a bit of a turn… but hope you enjoy all the same **

Neither woman felt the need to speak as the car sped further along the busy streets. Erin gripped the wheel tightly and bit down on her lip, as if doubting her decision to show Ruth where he was. Ruth, on the other hand, stared solely at the small parcel that now rested heavily in her lap. She absentmindedly stroked the brown wrapping as she considered the contents inside. Erin had told her that there were enough papers to convince anyone of a new identity for the two of them, two passports and two wedding rings. She could not help the small smile that teased her lips as she realised that there in the small, nonchalant package lay their precious new life together. She held their future tightly in between her fingers and hugged it close against her chest.

As the car slowed to a stop, Ruth looked out of the window. Erin winced as she noticed the slow realisation that began to drown her blue eyes. "Here? Harry is here?"

Erin simply nodded but failed to conceal her disparagement of the chose of venue.

"Why?"

Rolling her eyes in exasperation, Erin's retort was a little more strained than she had intended. "I have no bloody idea, Ruth! You're the one who knows him so well! You're the one that asked me to bring you here! Why don't you tell me why for a change? Or, better still, why don't you get out of the car, go through the door and then you can ask him why yourself?"

Ruth dropped her eyes back down the parcel in her lap and allowed the tension in the car the settle for a moment. Erin sighed heavily and reached out a hand and squeezed Ruth's arm gently. "I'm sorry Ruth."

Ruth raised her eyes to look at her and saw the honesty in her colleague's eyes. "It's okay, Erin. Really I'm…"

"No Ruth. Please forgive me."

Ruth's eyes widened as the grip on her arm tightened with the plea. "Erin," she continued, gently covering the hand on her arm with her own, "It's fine, honestly. You have nothing to apologise for."

Erin suddenly let go of her arm and turned her face to look out of the window. Ruth was sure she raised her hand and wiped away a rogue tear, but when she turned back to face her, Erin's eyes were refilled with her usual determination. "I hope he's worth it." she sighed.

Ruth smiled and clutched the package even tighter to her. "He is." she reassured her. "He's more than worth it. You said it yourself- when you love someone you would do anything for them, regardless of the price." And with that, having never really been one for goodbyes, she turned and left Erin sitting alone inside the car.

Erin watched her hurry off down the road until she finally disappeared around the side of the warehouse. Then she quickly dialled a number into her phone and raised the receiver to her ear. "She's arrived." As the call cut off, Erin dropped her head into her hands and allowed the tears that she had fought back ever since they started out from Thames House to fall, all the time loathing herself for what she had just done.

Ruth took a deep breath and closed her eyes. She remembered how the last time she had entered this warehouse it had been against her will. She remembered how John Bateman had roughly bundled her inside. She shivered as she thought of how he had tried to poison her on just the other side of the door she was about to enter of her own free will. She wondered why Harry had chosen here, here of all places, to meet up. Sighing heavily, she conceded he had his reasons and opening her eyes she took reassurance from the small parcel in her hands. Slowly, she pushed the door open.

The heavy door shut immediately behind her, causing her to jolt slightly at the abrupt noise. "Hello?" She was surprised to find the echo of her voice shaking with anticipation, emotions and delayed shock of this unexpected turn of events. "Harry?" Then her eyes finally found him. She knew immediately that something was terribly wrong.

**Apologies for the almost "L'Oreal" advert part way through **** Please R&R and I will try and get the next chapter up really soon!**


	9. Chapter 9

**Apologies for the twist… just liked the idea that there were a few more hurdles in Ruth and Harry's way yet. Also, I'm enjoying writing this fic a lot and didn't want it to end just yet **** Please stick with me though- you never know what might happen in the end!**

Sat in the dank vast warehouse, Harry thought about how she too had been held here. He could see her lay, attached to all the intrusive wires, on the very surface that he now found himself sat on. He felt her soft cheek underneath his touch and the crashing relief that had hit him once he realised she had been alive. Anger still cursed through his veins when he thought of what Lucas had done to her. He seethed at the memory of the terror and pain he had caused. He shook this idea from his head with a heavy heart. He now realised that it was in fact he who had caused her that pain. It was he that Lucas had wanted to break and it was his love for Ruth that had endangered her. She had been right, it had been unfair of him to love her.

Suddenly, the heavy echo of a closing door resounded around the empty space and brought Harry crashing back to his senses. His eyes darted open and began to scan the room. Then he heard her. His heart stopped beating, he was sure of it. His stomach dropped with a sudden nauseous feeling. It couldn't be her. Not now. Not again. "Harry?"

He met her eyes from across the room. She smiled, her eyes so full of promise, of love, of hope. But as she saw the despair and fear that clouded his dark eyes she knew immediately that something was wrong. "Harry?" she repeated quietly, not daring to move towards him. "What's going on?"

Harry merely continued to gaze at her. A swell of emotions at seeing her again battled fiercely with the need for her not to actually be here and the combination made talking a luxury he could not quite afford.

"Harry! Tell me what the hell is going on! You're scaring me!" He knew it was true. He could see the fear in her eyes. He dropped his gaze in an attempt to muster some sort of response, some sort of reassurance, but his gazed stopped abruptly on the package that she clutched so tightly to her.

He shot to his feet and was by her side in a flash. Ripping the package from her tight grasp, he finally found his voice. "This… who gave it to you?" Ruth stared at him in alarm.

"Erin! Erin gave it to me, of course! You told her to…" Her voice trailed off to silence as the realisation finally dawned on her. "You didn't tell her to give me the package did you?"

Harry shook his head as tears welled up behind his usually strong and comforting eyes. Both allowed their gaze to rest, once more, on the package in question. Tentatively, Harry reached out and slowly unwrapped the brown paper.

"What the..? That's a … Oh God! Harry! What the hell is going on here? That's… It's meant to be…" Her frightened rambles were silenced as she realised he was not listening to her. Instead his fingers sped nimbly over the explosive device he was now holding. After a moment, his eyes sort hers and he spoke quietly.

"They've removed the circuit component."

"But without that we can't…"

"No. There is no way to defuse the bomb."

A heavy silence hung in the air and Ruth felt all strength drain from her as she realised the true horror of the situation they now found themselves in.

"The door…" she started feebly, already knowing it a useless option.

"You can't open them from inside Ruth. You know that."

"How long Harry? How long have we got to…"

He shook his head again, as his own tears now spilled down his face.

"How long?" she demanded. Unwillingly, he turned the clock to face her. He watched as she processed the fact that they had little less than half an hour left and his heart felt as if it was actually about to break clean down the middle.

She swallowed hard, but was unable to conceal the breathless sobs that now rasped against her chest and pulled relentlessly at her heart. She looked at him, her eyes wide with panic. "I'm scared Harry. I don't want to die. Not now. I'm really scared."

It was as if the sight of her crumbling forced him to take some sort of control. Something deep inside him soared trough his body imploring him to be strong for her. He swallowed down his own fear, placed the open package carefully on the adjacent ledge and instead mustered the calmest stance he could possibly manage.

"Ruth" he hushed her, taking her shaking hands and encasing them securely in his own. 'Ruth. Look at me." He waited until she did as he said. They stood in silence for a few moments, both trapped somewhere between their tragic reality and a dream of what might have been. A dream of what once was. He was pleased to see that they both seemed to take a small amount of strength and comfort from each other. "This isn't like you Ruth." There was no judgement in his words, just the pure concern and compassion of someone who knew her so well. Of someone who had, ashamedly, seen her in this situation more than once before.

"It's different." she answered his wordless question. "This time, Harry, it's different."

"How?" he implored, gently squeezing her hand in his.

"Because you're here." He tilted his head in confusion, but before he could intervene she pressed on. "You're here Harry. You're here with me! So… so it can't work out, can it? This time it's… well… I…"

"Ruth." he whispered, taking a measured step towards her. Slowly he allowed his hands to trace lightly up her shaking arms. With a tender squeeze of her shoulders he continued, "Take a deep breath and explain it to me." He smiled at her. She did as he said and tried to return a grateful smile. "All of the other times Harry, you weren't with me." She looked directly into his eyes, using their steadiness to measure her own raging emotions. "You were looking for me. Fighting for me. I always knew you'd save me. But now, you're… Oh God! Now I wish you weren't here!" Her soft tone and easy touch of his cheek betrayed her words entirely. "I wish you weren't here, Harry!" She closed the gap between them by stepping further into his embrace. "I wish…" Slowly bent his head forward and brushed her lips gently with his. Withdrawing slightly, she sighed. "Oh I'm so glad you're here!"

With that she flung her arms around his neck and clung desperately to him as she kissed him more passionately than she ever thought imaginable. It was now that she finally realised how much pain she had actually been in over the past week. She realised that she had physically ached from missing his touch. Missing his taste. Missing him.

As if sensing her pain, he moved his hands skilfully underneath her thin jacket and pulled her even closer into his desperate embrace. She relished the safety and comfort of him. She wanted to lose herself in him completely. She silently pleaded with him to make everything right again.

Suddenly, he broke free from their entwined lips and looked deep into her still tear stained eyes. They stood, still embroiled in each other's hold, breathing heavily, neither prepared to let go. "I love you, Ruth" he whispered. She blinked away fresh tears that came with the ironic truth of his words. "I love you." His breath tickled her ear lobe softly and her heart leapt from her chest. She wanted to respond, but lodged emotion would not permit it. Instead, she kissed him meaningfully, trying with all her might to tell him that she was glad they were together in the end. Then she nestled her head deep into his broad chest while he rocked her softly in the warm sanctuary of his strong arms.

Gently, she traced her fingers along his sturdy contours while he ran his fingers soothingly through her hair. She knew he too was trying to memorise everything he could about the person who know stood so close in his arms. In the face of impending death it had never seemed so important to make memories.

However, Harry's voice soon brought them both back to a crashing reality. "Why did you come Ruth? Why did you come here?"

She could hear the tears that fell in his horse whisper. She looked up at him. "Erin gave me your letter." His chest heaved painfully as a distressed sob escaped him. He closed his eyes and nodded. Ruth felt her stomach knot tightly and she grasp at him as her knees began to buckle. "You didn't give her the note, did you?"

Harry shook his head wearily. "No, Ruth. I left it for you. I left it on the hall table after we… well…"

Ruth began to piece it together slowly as her head swam uncontrollably with information and memories. Harry had written the note. He had said his goodbyes. He had placed the note on the hall table just as she reached the top of the stairs. He had gone. Ruth's phone had rung. She had gone to the Grid. Erin had been out. She must have gone to Ruth's house, thinking Harry would still be there perhaps? She must have found the note and decided to use it. Use it for what?

He watched her connecting the dots slowly. He noted the patient tilt of her head. The narrowing of her eyes. "Why Harry?" she asked eventually. "Why us?"

Slowly he bent forward and kissed her forehead gently. "I don't know my love. I don't know."

"Harry?" she mumbled deep into his collarbone.

"Mmmm?"

"Will you marry me?"

He pulled back from her and searched for her eyes. "What?"

"Marry me, Harry. If I'm going to die today, I want to do it was your wife." There was an honesty- a finality- in her voice that made him love her even more than he had ever imagined possible. 

His thumb rubbed slowly around the small band of gold on her wedding finger, but his eyes never left hers. "Ruth Evershed," he began steadily. "You are like no one I have met. I never thought it possible to feel as much for somebody as I do for you. I love you with all my heart and I would be honoured to call you my wife."

"In that case" she rasped, her own voice heavy with emotion, "I think you had better kiss the bride." He smiled and then leant down and kissed her softly. Then he caught her lips for a second time and pressed deep against her as a daunting realisation that this could be the last time he would ever feel her, ever taste her crashed through his aching body. Lovingly, he entwined his fingers with hers, still stroking his thumb over the small gold band.

Suddenly he stopped still. She sensed his body tense rigid against her touch. Pulling her head back so she could see him completely, she froze. There was a look in his eyes that she recognised immediately.

"Harry? Harry, what is it?"

A smile began to curve on his lips and he swiftly kissed her again, pulling her close into his arms. "Well, Mrs Pearce." He said steadily, "Let's just say, I don't think we're going to die today!"

**Hope this chapter didn't jump to much emotion wise. Think I gabbled for a while **** Also, I apologise for my lack of knowledge of explosives in the chapter (and the rest of the story) but as it's a fan fic. hopefully all you kind people will forgive me ****. Review and let me know what you think…**


	10. Chapter 10

**Thanks for all of your great reviews. Sorry for the emotional rollercoaster this story seems to be travelling on but its nearly there now! Hope you like this twist and it's not too much of let down! R&R and let me know…**

It had not been a good day. After all these years she had come to know the signs- the absence of her smile, the lack of conversation. Now, as she watched her daughter silently plate up food for them, she knew better than to ask.

"Rosie missed you today, love."

Erin smiled weakly at her Mother in response, as she placed a hot pan back down to cool. Her Mother pushed on, "She was asking if you're free to come to her school concert next week?"

Erin shot a wary look across the room. "You know it's not that simple. I'd be there if I could!" Both women stood staring at one another, the possibility of continuing this conversation further hanging heavily between them. Suddenly the doorbell rang, causing Erin to jumped so violently that the peas she had been busy plating up abruptly spilt all over the floor. "Shit!"

"I'll get it" sighed her Mother, leaving the kitchen. She had never known her this distant. She could not help but worry just what the hell had happened to make this day worse than the rest.

"Hello. Can I help you?" There, stood on the doorstep stood two people dressed in black. The man wore a grave face while the woman's seemed to age her considerably beyond her years.

Before either could speak a fourth person joined them in the doorway.

"Who are you?"

"Now Rosie. That's not very polite!" scorned her Grandmother.

"Sorry Nan. Who are you, please?"

Ruth smiled warmly and crouched down so that she was now on level with the little girl. Offering her hand in a handshake she spoke gently. "My name is Ruth and this here is Harry. And you must be Rosie."

Suddenly shy, the little girl slid her arm around her Grandmother's leg and smiled meekly at Ruth. "Yes" she whispered.

"Rosie?"

All parties froze as Erin stopped dead in the doorframe. They all stood rigid for a charged moment, waiting for somebody to light the match. It was Ruth who finally broke the silence. "Rosie, Harry here needs to a have little talk with your Mummy, so how about you, Nan and I go and put the kettle on?"

Erin's Mother stared from the woman now knelt on the doorstep to her daughter. Erin's face was grey and tears had begun to fall steadily down her cheeks. "Erin..?" queried her Mother as she felt her stomach knot uncontrollably.

"Mum. Please!" she whispered. Ruth could sense the older lady's fear and offered her the most reassuring smile she could before clambering to her feet. "Shall we?" she offered as she led Rosie and her Grandmother off to the small kitchen and quickly shut the door behind them. 

Erin and Harry continued to stare at each other long after the door had closed. Despite the fact the others had left the hallway, the small space seemed to be more crowded than ever. Finally Erin spoke, her voice a mere cracked whisper. "Harry…I…I'm so sorry. I…"

"You drove her to her death." His voice was cold and sharp and each word stabbed painfully at the pit of her stomach.

"I…I had no choice, Harry!" With that he stepped quickly over the threshold and advanced towards her. Roughly grabbing her by the shoulders and pushing her back against the wall, he shook her vigorously.

"There's always a choice Erin! Don't bullshit me!" he spat.

"No! No Harry!" she stammered through trembling sobs. "They were going to take her. They said it was either you two or Rosie! That was my choice! You see, I had no choice!"

She let out an almighty gasp for air before allowing all of her emotions to crash though her at once. As her felt her tremble in his grasp, Harry felt her words register heavily on his heart. "I'm so sorry Harry" she shook as waves of despair spilled from her.

He looked at her and he saw his own pain etched on her face. He saw the ability to love another more than anything else in the world and he understood. He understood only too well.

Tenderly, Harry drew her into him and rocked her gently as she cried relentlessly against him. "I couldn't lose my baby. I could let them take her!"

"What the hell is going on?" hissed Erin's Mother as she passed Ruth a steaming mug of tea. Rosie was sat between the two women, munching happily on her recently rescued dinner.

Ruth took a fleeting sip of hot tea and smiled as kindly as she could at her. "Mrs. Watts…" she began.

"Please. Call me Maggie."

"Maggie. My name is Ruth and myself and the gentleman out there," she nodded towards the door, "work with your daughter." Maggie gave her a knowing glance. "I take it you know what your daughter does for a living."

"Yes I bloody know!" she snapped, unreasonably. Ruth did not flinch, but merely took another sip of her tea, allowing Maggie to vent against the silence. She understood the fear and uncertainty that came with their job. She also knew that fear and love for others often clouded rational thought and conduction.

"Do you work with my Mummy at the cinema?" Ruth raised her eyebrow sutably in Maggie's direction.

"Mummy sometimes sees scary films at work and they make her a bit frightened when she gets home, isn't that right Rosie?" Maggie justified as a way of explanation. Ruth felt her stomach tighten and her heart swell as she, once more, found herself short changed by the mere cost of their job. She smiled warmly at Rosie and spoke softly.

"Yes I work with your Mummy."

"Is Mummy naughty at work? Is that why she has to stay late all the time?"

Ruth placed her mug slowly on the table and turned to fully face the small child. "No." she whispered, emotion thick on her voice and her eyes. "No. Your Mummy is very good at her job. So good, in fact, that she likes to stay late to make sure everybody at the cinema is happy and watching what they should be, not looking at all of the messy things that we have to… sort out."

An involuntary sob from Ruth left told her that Maggie's fear had now intensified ten fold. Rosie on the other hand seemed oblivious to the growing tension, and instead shovelled another forkful of mashed potato into her mouth before asking "Like a broken popcorn machine? That would be really messy!"

Ruth smiled through her sorrow. She had forgotten how refreshing the innocence and naivety of youth really could be. "Yes. Exactly like that."

A sudden banging from the hallway and raised voices made them all sit to attention. Maggie made to stand at the sound of her daughter's hysterical wailing, but found herself halted by Ruth's soft hand on her shoulder. Rosie looked between the two and Ruth was ashamed to see a growing look of alarm in the young girl's face.

"Don't worry sweetie." She said kindly. "I bet Harry and Mummy are just playing a game."

"Yes" seethed Maggie facing Ruth with an incredulous look in her eyes. "Yes I bet it's a game your lot are only too good at playing!"

"Can I play?"

Both women's gaze dropped to the small child and neither seemed to find any words to fill the impending silence.

As her sobs subsided, Erin stilled in his arms and he felt her tense against him. Drawing back from him she lifted her pained face to meet his. "I really am so s…"

"Don't be. Believe me, I've been there. I know, you are right. There is no choice."

Harry dropped heavily down onto the bottom step, exhausted. Erin followed suit and they found themselves sitting and blankly staring into the suddenly crowded hall way.

"Albany?"

"Yes. How did you know?"

"Research. Hearsay. Seeing you two together."

He conceded her point by intensifying the deafening silence.

"How did you get out? I mean… how did you…the bomb?"

Harry turned to face the woman sat beside him. He leant close to her and whispered chillingly in her ear. "You tell me Ms. Watts. How do you think we got out?"

She swallowed hard and refused to meet his gaze. "I think… I think that there was a certain circuit component missing from the bomb." Nothing. "I think that you knew you could not defuse the bomb without it." Silence. "I believe you also knew that a circuit component can be replicated by a pure metal substance." It was only now that she allowed herself to look at him. Their eyes held in mutual understanding.

"Like gold maybe?" he suggested.

"Yes."

"A gold engagement ring, perhaps?"

It was her turn to remain silent.

"What I don't understand Erin is why. You knew Ruth had the ring. You knew the component was missing. I would like to think that you would at least consider the possibility that between us we might work it out!"

"What they didn't know couldn't hurt them, Harry" she retorted.

"Yes. But, what they didn't know could have considerably hurt your daughter."

Long moments passed, in which both allowed their eyes to lull into separate worlds of pain, anguish and bitter realisation.

Twenty minutes and many tense moments later, the kitchen door finally swung open.

"Mummy! Look! I eated up all my peas! Am I a good girl?"

Erin walked slowly across the room and knelt in front of her daughter. Gently she stroked the little girl's face before drawing her into a firm and over reaching hug.

"Yes" she breathed. "Yes, sweetie. You are such a good girl." Rosie found herself suffocated by her Mother's sudden embrace and wriggled free from her slightly. "Mummy. Stop it! You're hurting me."

"No." Erin drew back from her, but kept a firm hold of her daughter's arms. Shaking her gently she spoke with a piercing determination. "You listen to me. No one is ever going to hurt you, do you hear me? No one! Never! I won't let them ever hurt you!" Once more she drew her close and Rosie sensed that this time it was best t let her do so.

"Well, Ms. Watts. I believe I've taken up enough of you weekend, and God knows you've taken up more than enough of mine." Maggie shot him a disbelieving and unequivocal look. Harry merely nodded to Ruth who stood and walked silently to his side. He motioned for her to leave them alone. As they made their way along the hall, Harry stopped and called back over his shoulder. "Oh, and Erin. I'll see you on Monday, yes?"

As the door shut behind them, Ruth finally allowed herself to look at him. He, however, stared blankly into the depth of the night. Tenderly, she squeezed his arm. "Harry? Harry, shall I call us a cab?"

Catching her hand firmly under his she noticed with a heavy heart as his finger traced the bare skin where her engagement ring had rested. He let out a deep breath, but did not face her. "Walk with me Ruth."

She did. They walked silently along the scarcely lit streets, Harry seemingly still lost in his own thoughts and memories of the previous day. Ruth knew well enough not to push him. He would talk in his own time.

As they turned the corner she suddenly found herself pinned roughly to the brick wall. He kissed her hungrily and drew every inch of her close to him. He pressed hard against her and allowed his fingers to trail every part of her aching body. He could not get enough of her. His senses screamed painfully to be filled with her. His heart exploded violently with his love for her.

When he finally drew his lips from hers, he seemed to be panting slightly. She reached up a warm hand and was not surprised to find his cheeks damp from tears.

"Talk to me."

"They were going to hurt her. They threatened Rosie."

Ruth gasped, horrified. "Who?"

Gently he brushed his cheek against her hand and lent slowly forward until their foreheads rested against each other.

"Harry. Who?"

"The Home Secretary."

**Okay! So like I said- please forgive the poetic license taken with the defusing of bombs- but, hey, as long as it sounded a little bit convincing! Two more chapters I think **** Hope this one made sense- not sure if I tried to cram too much into one chapter but I had fun writing it anyway so hope you enjoy reading **


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